Give me a break....

I need a break. Hell, I need a damn vacation! 

As a mom the above statement means i'm on the edge of losing my sanity. 

You see, I am a stay at home mom of two sweet little darling girls. When I say I need a break, I'm not talking about a trip solo to the bathroom (although that would be appreciated) no, my "needing a break" means that I'm asking for a short break from my responsibilities so that I can simply call a friend and go for coffee, retreat to a near by city for a day of good ol' me time or take a night away to sleep in a bed ALONE and in silence with no little hands waking me in the night asking for a variety of items that are most definitely not being fulfilled at 3am in the morning. It means that I need a moment to feel like ME again!  A moment to be the person I yearn to be after dealing with the reality of a life where I don't belong to myself anymore; where I get all the love and energy sucked out of me every moment of the day! 

I know, I know, I'm whining!!! Yes, I chose this glamorous mommy career, and don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade it for the world BUT.....I need some time!  

Parenting is hard work. I get it! I'm doing it. Hell we all are doing it, but holy crap this shit gets deep. One person can only handle so much loud pitch screaming, talking back, whiney gestures and sibling fighting before their head wants to burst into a firey ball of "Shut the hell up!" And that folks is when you know you need that break. So I'm putting it out there. Someone hook me up with lotto max and take this girl to the city!!

Just some tips from my journey with DIY beauty tips!

DIY beauty tips that I have tested and really work!

#1) Puffy eyes be gone! Take 2 ice cubes and place them in a ziplock bag. Apply the bag  directly on eyes for 5-10mins. Take breaks if it becomes to cold. The puffy bags should be gone or reduced at the end of your application!

#2) Waterproof mascara is great to use as a final coat! Layer your regular mascara as normal, finishing off with with a layer of waterproof. It will be a little harder to take off at the end of the day but it will outlast! No smudges! 

#3) No shaving cream? No problem. When in a pinch, shave legs with hair conditioner.  It's super moisturizing which makes the hairs softer and easier to shave! Conditioner also works on your lady bits to prevent ingrown hairs! Slather on after you shave as a final rinse! 😜

#4) Coconut oil or olive oil is a great make up remover for tough waterproof makeup! 

# 5) Concealing dark circles and bags under your eyes is much easier when you apply concealer properly. Instead of dotting on concealer, apply it in a triangle shape. It should give you perfect coverage!

# 6) Dried out hair? Fried ends? Throw a towel into the dryer for 10mins. While waiting wash hair with shampoo and rinse. Take a deep conditioner ( K-Pak joico) and distribute through the ends and sparingly at the roots then wrap warm towel around head. Leave on for 10-15mins and rinse. Voila! Repeat once a week for over processed hair!

Try these tips and let me know how they work for you!

And so the story goes......

"Mom watch this..."

"Mom..."

"Mom watch this....."

"Watch this mom...."

"OK watch this....."

"and this........"

"Mom watch this......."

This is the story of my life. I spend most my days listening to this phrase on constant repeat..watching the same action(s) play over... and over.... and over ...and each time I act surprised and "wow'd" but deep inside I'm thinking "seriously,  how many times can you make a somersault look any different."
Is that bad? Am I a terrible parent for thinking that? Does anyone else just want to say out loud:
 "Its the same as last time."
"Same again."
"Yup still the same."

I now know how my parents felt when I was a child on family road trips and constantly asking
"Are we there yet?"
"How about now?"
"When will we be there?"
"How much longer?"....

Its happening to me.

Welcome to parenthood. Everything your parents ever wished would happen to you with your own children is now coming true.

And the story goes........

Change is the only constant

I feel so lucky to be alive right now to witness all the good changes happening in the world such as;

People marrying who they love and being who they are!

Advances in technology and science that is helping prolong our health and happiness. 

A shift in spirituality that's is giving so many hope, love and positivity. 

It really is so amazing!!

That being said I also am aware that there are many negative things out there right now too, but I feel like focusing on those things at this time just inhibits you from living the fullest life you can. We are only on this earth a short time, make the most of it!

Live life. 

Be you. 

Show strength and give love. 

Tea. It's where it's at.

This summer I was determined to make my own healthy iced tea and make my family love it! I'm proud to report its been a success.

Every week we go downtown to the local tea shop on 5th and pick out 2 teas to have for the week. I feel like I've become a bit of a tea snob now that I've been home brewing loose leaf tea my self. No more boxed brand name teas, now we just go local and natural and I'm lovin it!!!! 

These are my 2 faves so far and I highly recommend:

- white tea raspberry cream

- grapefruit jazz green tea

Both are refreshingly amazing and we seem to go thru a jug every 2 days right now!

So if you are wanting a nice summer drink, definitely check them out!! Mmmmmmmm. 

The art of the cover up. Tired? No not me.

"Long nights equals long days and then you depend on coffee to sustain you through out the day." 

This is the advice I received  from a friend when I was gearing up for my first child. I was not a coffee drinker then, infact I found the drink to be bitter and repulsive. Fast forward a couple months and that very unsatisfying drink would become my very best friend. 

Who knew that sleep deprivation could play such havoc on your body and mind. When they say you go crazy, it's true! 6 weeks into motherhood I had already visited the hospital emergency ward after trying to split frozen chicken with a butter knife.  Seriously!!! 

Only sleep deprived crazy people do that and I was for sure becoming one of them. Nothing could ever have prepared me for the amount of sleep I was going to live without, or so I thought. Insert child number 2 when my oldest was 3yrs old and we have the make up for a mother atomic bomb. 

That period in my life was the toughest life lesson I ever had to endure. I was up all night with a baby, up all day with a toddler and this process was in constant repeat. My husband was only able to take a week off when the baby was born and there was times when I would be up at 3am for the third time that night, bouncing, feeding and diapering a screaming child and there he was, peacefully sleeping (and snoring). 

I could of killed him. 

The thought crossed my mind. 

The unfairness I felt....

The guilt for feeling that way....

Then trying to be understanding because I knew he had to work, however the visuals of stuffing a rolled up sock down his throat seemed like the suitable payback for the time I was putting in. 

So how do we survive?

Yes, we adjust. 

We learn to go on and build a routine with minimal sleep and then all of a sudden the kids are grown and we forget the torture we put ourselves through. Like its in our DNA to automatically forget the roughest periods of your life when you lived months, no YEARS without sleep. 

Now...

In walks your best friend, she's just had a baby. You hold him, and that's it! Your ovaries are tingling, your boobs are twitching and you begin reminiscing about your babies and how cute they are, and how you want more... 

Wait... What???

Really?? 

MORE?!?  

Nope!! Not this chick. I'm done. 

But that baby smell.... 

Love it. 

Want it. 

Can smell it from 50 miles away.....

You see us mothers, we take on that battle like nobodys business. We stay up, we endure and we drink coffee because we love those little butt farts!

After all you made that! 

And there is nothing better in the world. 

An open book....

There's a ton of pressure from the world to look like the women on the cover of magazines. The women who shop at any store and walk into a mall with so many choices as if everything has been hand picked for them...and it has. This pressure turns into constant paranoia and anxiety that robs you from opportunities in pursuit of “perfect”. 

We've all been there, in fact I'm still there. We try to change ourselves and we suffer through discomforts all in an effort to fit in and be accepted. 

We lose weight, we gain weight and we repeat the process again and again. I think most of us are always on a diet and when asked at any given time there is always some food that we are at war with. 

Being overweight I am living in a body that I struggle to love everyday. The pressure from society to be something I am not is constantly on my mind. Society treats fat people differently as if our size is a reflection of our worth because people instantly type cast you like the other "fat"people they see in the media. As if they have an open window into your life. 

Truth is, we live in a body that immediately declares our self-worth based on the media's standard of beauty. But it is my body right? Or maybe it is yours..... 

The reality is no matter how much I love myself I'm constantly reminded that I should feel ashamed. It's a constant struggle for me and for anyone who feels the pressure to be the starlet on TV, the women in the fitness video or the model on the magazine, but at the end of the day I am in control. What matters to me is what is important and only I can make a change if I want to. It's only until we love ourselves that we can truly be free. To that I say "Screw you society!" I've got this. 

How to build a quick brow.....

Its no secret everyone who knows me knows that I am an avid eyebrow drawer thanks to over plucking as a teen. In the 90s I needed to have those 90s thin brows and as a result the hair just doesn't grow back anymore. Without makeup, I sport a nice "Spock" like brow that has a bushy beginning with no tail end. After many many years, I can now create an amazing brow in mere seconds!

I'd like to share with you how I do a quick brow using just a eyebrow pencil. This process is for when you are on the go and need a brow now!! Sounds hilarious and you only understand the need of you require this kind of self help. 

First thing first, you need to start with a good pencil. I usually use a MAC brow pencil in "spiked" but for my quick brow I use this pencil by Rimmel. It is long wearing and has a great brush attached. 

It costs about $6-9 depending on where you buy it and I use it in the color Black Brown. My pencil is very well used so here is a stock image of what you would look for at the store. 

When I have more time I will use a combination of brow pencil, brow shadow and follow it up with some sephora brow gel to seal it. But back to the quickie! 😆

Attached in the photos below is my brows "au natural" followed by my upper brow line in which I follow the natural curve of my brow bone. After my guideline is complete I then create a bottom brow line and connect it with the tail end. Then I proceed to fill in the tail end with the pencil. The tail end of your eyebrow should line up with the corner of your eye. 

After my eyebrow is complete, I fill in the front bushy area of the eyebrow lightly with the pencil and then blend it in with the pencil brush thus resulting in a nice finished brow! 

Voila!! 

It takes practice to get the brows symmetrical with each other but Ive got it down to a science! 

As great as they look it's annoying when you accidentally wipe a section away so

I'm hoping to get my brows permanently tattood in the next year. Ive been doing a lot of research and I'm hoping this lady in Vancouver who does an amazing natural feathering technique will be able to do them. Fingers crossed I get into her bookings come August! Look at her results!!

Amazing!! 

And there ya have it folks, easy brow compete. 

It's not your size...it's how you wear it.

I like to shop. 

Grocery shop. 

Clothes shop. 

All shopping really lol. 

I'm plus size and I think that I'm pretty good at keeping up with the trends. I shop thrift stores 60% of the time and rarely ever buy clothing at full price. I'm a sucker for a sale and always hit up the clearance sections first. Even as a lady with curves I never let it deter me from dressing well and always keep in mind what my body type is. I'm small on top and large through the bottom with a big ol'watermelon butt and I'm cool with it. I personally would never strut my junk in a bikini or crop top but I love that there are plus size ladies out there who are confident and wear those items and totally rock it out. Let's look at Tess Holiday for instance, she is a size 22 and started her journey as a dental office assistant that blogged about her fashion choices, posted photos of her wearing the latest current trends and became a body positive advocate for plus size women. She has now become one of the first plus size women (and I'm talking REAL plus size not this size 12 crap) to sign an exclusive modeling contract. She's been in vogue, people's mag and a whole slu of other famous media publications/ platforms. She's bringing the big girl back to fabulous and I'm loving it!  She has given other women of size some inspiration and she really promotes "Beautiful at any size". I think it's Important to show everyone that you can still rock current fashion even if your body doesn't fit into the ideal. It's the way Tess made it all happen that is truly Amazeballs!! Let's let her be our inspiration for the moment. 

Stunning!!

Ok back to it. 

Today while thrifting, I observed a young woman who was plus size, wearing clothing to small for her body. Parts of her body were hanging over her shorts. The shorts were riding up her thighs and her tank top was tight and unflattering. I couldn't help but think about how I felt about it and how she shouldn't be squishing her body into small tight cut off shorts. 

Perhaps she was truly comfortable and has amazing self esteem but I know I had to do a double look so I'm assuming others did too.  It was however obvious that she was struggling. Pulling down her shorts every few minutes to alleviate the chub rub (ladies you know what I mean) and constantly pulling her shirt down to cover her body. I wanted to know if she understood her body type. Do people not get it? Or do they just not care? Look, you want to wear cut off shorts? WICKED!! Rock those shorts, but do it in a way that suits your body and show haters that you are FAB! Don't be a joke, be a statement! Invest in you!! You deserve it!! 

The struggle is real.......

Late night venting....

Plus size clothes shopping is like being tortured by small seam ripping rodents constantly pulling at every roll or clinging to every inch of your imperfections. It sucks! 

I'm sure all women experience this and not just us ladies with "more to love" (a term that I also despise). You see when you require a size larger then a 16/18 you have to shop at a specialty store which means big $$$! I want to be modern, trendy and hip just like all women but walking into a "plus size" store is like accepting that you are in fact different from the norm and will now be paying $80 for a $10 shirt that you would by in a regular store. Not only is the pricing crazy but because you are plus size you must 

1) be at least 5'10

2) have ginormous breasts

3) have arms the diametre of a large basketball and....

4) be extremely fond of high waisted pants

Why are stores so afraid to carry a size bigger than an 18?! Why can't plus size clothing be trendy and affordable. Seriously I don't want to wear large prints and slacks!! 

ALSO, if you've ever shopped a good sale you know that the only sizes left are always the xs/s so this has to be saying something!!

Please tell me someone out there understands what I mean!!

Contouring. It's all kinds of strange yet fascinating.

So I've been emerged in you tube contouring videos lately. I find them very intriguing and I'm in awe of all the varieties of ways you can "sculpt" your face with just a little bit of makeup. 

I wanted to try this contouring trend out. 

I am usually one to just dabble in a small variety of makeup products. I use a good skin cream, wear minimal face makeup (concealer, powder, mascara &bronzer) and always rock a stellar fake penciled eyebrow thanks to over plucking in my teens. The thought of caking on a monumental amount of makeup on my face has never been appealing but I just have to try!!! 

So let's bring in technique #1. Clown contouring. I have to say I failed with the application mostly because I was uncertain on the amounts I needed to use especially pertaining to foundations of which I do not wear on a regular basis. Mix that with a variety of complicated brushes and you ha e what looks like war paint on its worse day. However, I was feeling determined so I blended that bitch out and in the end felt pretty fierce. More practice is required but all around not a bad first attempt. Messy, but ok!

Check it out!

A few new handy products to add to my already flourished collection. Found these as recommendations on a website called hairsprayandhighheels.net. Not bad and very budget friendly. 

Maybelline stick foundations (one shade lighter then my skin tone and one but more like 2 shades darker. Oops)

NYC translucent powder (to seal your look)

Hard candy 12 hour primer. Super awesome!!

NYX creme stick blush. Also super awesome. 

A nice blending sponge and a flat top stippling brush for the perfect blending experience. (Which I found hard to master)

Now enter the process. Helpfully aided by a photo I found on Google. Yes that's right. I googled the contouring process for a help me photo. 

Started off fresh faces in the worst bathroom light ever. My apologies.

The results were not bad but I for sure needed less light concealer, more dark contouring and more in the blending department. 

Over all I felt pretty happy about the process and looking forward to trying it out hopefully more "properly" tomorrow! Stay tuned peeps!

It's me!

I've returned! It's been awhile since I was really into blogging. Life gets busy, throw some kids in there and voila you have no time to enjoy the things you used to. So where do we start again? Well I've been pretty into plus size fashion and over all self care these days. As a plus size mom of 2 girls, I really feel the pressure to make sure I am the best role model I can be. It's going to be hard to instill positive self love and esteem into my girls when society is telling them to be everything but who they are. I for one am guilty of participating in things that promote what our society has deemed  as "normal" or "beautiful" such as fad diets, hating your curves and becoming disgusted at the sight of your body because you don't fit into the "norm". I've decided that I just need to love myself. Enjoy what life has so graciously given me and live in the moment. If I become a healthier me in the process then wonderful but I have to show my kids that life is great at any size and there is no guilt in being who you are.  With all that being said, I hope you can relate and follow me on this blog journey as I have fun discovering beauty, fashion and fun as a plus size glam guru!