The art of the cover up. Tired? No not me.

"Long nights equals long days and then you depend on coffee to sustain you through out the day." 

This is the advice I received  from a friend when I was gearing up for my first child. I was not a coffee drinker then, infact I found the drink to be bitter and repulsive. Fast forward a couple months and that very unsatisfying drink would become my very best friend. 

Who knew that sleep deprivation could play such havoc on your body and mind. When they say you go crazy, it's true! 6 weeks into motherhood I had already visited the hospital emergency ward after trying to split frozen chicken with a butter knife.  Seriously!!! 

Only sleep deprived crazy people do that and I was for sure becoming one of them. Nothing could ever have prepared me for the amount of sleep I was going to live without, or so I thought. Insert child number 2 when my oldest was 3yrs old and we have the make up for a mother atomic bomb. 

That period in my life was the toughest life lesson I ever had to endure. I was up all night with a baby, up all day with a toddler and this process was in constant repeat. My husband was only able to take a week off when the baby was born and there was times when I would be up at 3am for the third time that night, bouncing, feeding and diapering a screaming child and there he was, peacefully sleeping (and snoring). 

I could of killed him. 

The thought crossed my mind. 

The unfairness I felt....

The guilt for feeling that way....

Then trying to be understanding because I knew he had to work, however the visuals of stuffing a rolled up sock down his throat seemed like the suitable payback for the time I was putting in. 

So how do we survive?

Yes, we adjust. 

We learn to go on and build a routine with minimal sleep and then all of a sudden the kids are grown and we forget the torture we put ourselves through. Like its in our DNA to automatically forget the roughest periods of your life when you lived months, no YEARS without sleep. 

Now...

In walks your best friend, she's just had a baby. You hold him, and that's it! Your ovaries are tingling, your boobs are twitching and you begin reminiscing about your babies and how cute they are, and how you want more... 

Wait... What???

Really?? 

MORE?!?  

Nope!! Not this chick. I'm done. 

But that baby smell.... 

Love it. 

Want it. 

Can smell it from 50 miles away.....

You see us mothers, we take on that battle like nobodys business. We stay up, we endure and we drink coffee because we love those little butt farts!

After all you made that! 

And there is nothing better in the world.